The constant taunting, the constant beatings, the bruises that I can no longer keep concealed.

I am huddled in the corner of the basement that I am forced to live in.

I killed my mother during childbirth. My father, the Alpha of our pack, disowned me the moment I was born.

I hear the click of metal and I know they have chosen the whip. My father, my brothers, my stepsister, my friends...

My vision is turning black. I can no longer keep my eyes open, I just want to sleep, I just want it to end.

I think I faintly made out a male's voice.

“Don’t give up little one, I will find you.”

————————

Natalia POV

I hate my life, I hate the people in my life. The constant taunting, the constant beatings, the bruises that I can no longer keep concealed. Why me? What have I ever done to deserve this? I keep to myself. I will always help anyone in need, so why am I treated so badly? Why am I the one everyone beats on? Why do I let them do it? Is it because I am weak like they say? These thoughts are constantly replayed day in and day out.

I am huddled in the corner of the basement that I am forced to live in. My father, the Alpha of our pack, disowned me the moment I was born. I killed my mother during childbirth and since then I have been palmed off to whoever he would force to look after me, but since I am about to turn 18, no one wants me anymore. I was handed back to my father and thrown into the basement. The basement is the cells.

I am forced to live down here and endure the daily beatings. I cannot heal, I can’t shift, I am banned and bound. My father had a witch come to our lands, and he paid a s**t load for her to perform the ritual to bind me. I can hear my wolf Nyaxia, she is here with me through it all, but just like me, she cannot heal me.

She is stuck, shackled and confined to the space of my mind. I hurt she hurts I cry she cries for me. So, as I sit here huddled in a ball in my basement cell, I wait. I wait for my father to come down and beat me, punish me for being such a disgrace to the Black Widow Pack. As I am forced to live down here, I am also forced to see where my punishments are always dished out. The section across from my ratty mattress and broken bucket where I keep my clothes is the interrogation section. Stocked full of torture equipment. His personal favourite is the wolfsbane whip.

It takes me days to heal since I have to heal the human way. I have to walk around with everyone smelling my bleeding wounds and then have to deal with the pack bullies. My brother, who is next in line for Alpha, loves to beat on me just as much as our father. My step-sister joins in on the fun with her b***h friends.

Once I am locked down here after I have done all my daily chores, I sit and wait. My father likes to taunt me by making me wait, he likes to keep me guessing when he will come down to deliver my punishment. With no windows down here and no clock to check the time, I sit and wait. Every footstep I can hear, every noise has me on edge and staring up at the stairs that lead down to the basement cells.

****

I must have dozed off briefly because when I opened my eyes I saw a pair of dirty boots in front of me. I instantly tense up and push myself into a sitting position, but I am not fast enough to avoid the bone-shattering kick to my ribs. I learned long ago to not make a sound, I learned to keep my screams contained.

I have to take the beatings in silence. Something feels different about tonight though, something feels off. He doesn’t normally start off like this, he doesn’t normally kick or use his fists. That’s when I smell it, the stench of alcohol and the burning scent of wolfsbane. He leans down and grabs me by my hair, my eyes sting with unshed tears, and he drags me over to the filthy bench. I suck in a lungful of air only to be met with a soaked rag.

It burns as soon as it’s placed around my mouth. The stench of burnt flesh and blood hit me. I feel my eyes start to roll back, I’m on the verge of blacking out from the pain. As my vision starts to waver, I am hit with a freezing cold bucket of water thrown onto me. He picks me up and throws me onto the cold wet bench. My face smashes on the bench. I whimper from the impact and start to gag on my own blood. This only causes my father to laugh. His breath hits my face as he leans down and partially shifts his fingers into claws, he brings it closer to my face and digs it into my skin just below my eye.

The tears are running down my face, mixing in with the dirt and old blood that’s marked this table. Once he is finished running his claw down my face, he moves to my top and slices it down the centre, exposing my back, my back that is littered with scars that won’t fade, littered with bruises and brands that will forever mark my flesh. Nyaxia is trying to talk to me, trying to distract me from what is about to come. That is when the pain gets bad. I faintly hear him shuffle around the room, the scuff of his boots is loud enough to alert me of where he is in the room due to him being drunk.

I hear the click of metal and I know he has chosen the whip. I try and suck in any air I can through my nose but it’s becoming difficult with the onslaught of wolfsbane burning my nostrils. I hear the groan of the leather being pulled in his hand and then I hear the metal ends thud to the floor. I closed my eyes and tried and listen to Nyaxia.

“Breathe, Natalia. You have to breathe.”

“How? You know how much this kills us”.

I can’t do this, I can’t keep enduring this. f**k why won’t they just kill me already? Why are they stringing me along? I am so caught up in my own thoughts I don’t hear the swish of the leather gliding through the air until the sharp burn hits my back. This time I let out a scream, there is no holding it together tonight. My father lets out a manic cackle, “This is for taking her from me, this is for leaving me without my mate”. WHACK, WHACK, WHACK. I can’t get any air into my lungs, I choke on my blood from the burns ravishing my mouth. My throat feels horse from screaming and all I can hear is my father laughing with joy at how much pain he is inflicting on me.

My vision is turning black. I can no longer keep my eyes open, I just want to sleep, I just want it to end. My father drags me off the bench by my arms and I hit the floor face first, and I hear the sickening crutch of my nose.

“Look at you, Natalia. You are pathetic”.

He all but spits at me. He steps closer to me, and I instinctively try and move away from him. He grabs my face and rips the soaked rag from my mouth. I let out a scream as I watch a piece of my flesh get pulled from my face. He shoves my face away with a disgusted sneer, I watch with half-lidded eyes as he turns around and walks back up the stairs.

Natalia POV

All I see is darkness. I can’t hear anything, but I know I am not dead. I feel no pain here, I feel nothing. It’s peaceful, I can finally breathe, I can finally let go. I think I may be dreaming, but I don’t normally feel like this when I have dreamed before. “Nyaxia, are you there?” I feel some panic starting to creep in because whatever is happening right now, I don’t feel Nyaxia’s presence. Even though I cannot feel my body, I know I must be badly injured. I don’t think my father has ever gone this far before. Just thinking about what he did to me causes a sob to work its way out.

Once I let it out, I can't control what happens next. The scream I let out is heartbreaking. I screamed for the mother I never got to know. I screamed for killing her. I screamed for myself. I just want to die. I just want to be free and happy. I want my wolf. I want. I want a mate. I want a life.

“Why Moon Goddess, Why have you done this to me?”

“Am I to die like this? Am I to live in a world where I am hated, where I am shunned for something I have no control over?”

My sobs have turned into silent tears now. I know deep down this is how I will forever be. I know that I am not destined for anything other than being the pathetic-weak-bound shifter who killed the Luna. Everything is silent and peaceful. My mind is blank, for once I have no thoughts, I have no feelings. I am finally numb. I have come to the realisation that I no longer want to live. I don’t want to be part of the Black Widow Pack. I don’t want to be the pack's punching bag. Once those thoughts leave my mind, I feel myself start to drift. The darkness is slowly turning light but as I am heading towards it, I hear a whisper of something. It brushes past me like a caress. A voice, I think. I tried and listened, and I think I faintly made out a male's voice.

“Don’t give up little one, I will find you”.

****

I feel pain. I feel so much pain,. I faintly hear mumbling around me, but I can't even open my eyes. Suddenly I am hit by Nyaxia’s panicked voice.

“Natalia, where are you?”

I can practically feel her pacing inside my mind bashing against the restraints of our f*****g binding.

“What’s wrong Ny? I am right here.”

Strangely, I can feel her so much, and I am so entune with her, yet I have never seen her. I am pulled from my thoughts when something wet and cold is applied to my skin. I hear muffled voices and hushed whispers, but I can't make out who it is. I can't seem to pry my eyes open. I somehow manage to make some kind of strangled sound which alerts whoever is in my cell that I am awake.

“Shhh, don’t make a sound OK? I am trying to be quick, but f**k Natalia, what did he do to you?”

I cannot even speak at the moment, my face and my mouth are blistered and, by the taste and smell, are bleeding. I get the faint waft of lilacs and I instantly feel my body relax, my best friend. Well, my only friend, Amelia. She always comes to help me, always risking her position in the pack by helping me. Her parents are Beta’s, which makes her in line for the title when her parents step down. She doesn’t care for titles though, she doesn’t care for this pack after what they do to me.

“Natalia, I am going to inject you with a healing serum. You need it for what's to come today.”

She sounded flustered and kind of cryptic. I make a hmm noise, which is the only thing I can manage at this stage, and what does she mean by what's to come? What is happening today? Better yet, what day is it and how long have I been out? I feel the slight pin prick she injects into my arm, and then I feel myself drift off into the darkness again.

When I wake up this time, I can finally open my eyes. I take in my surroundings, I am laying on my filthy mattress, but there is a bottle of water next to my head. Amelia must have left it for me. I move my arms and groan. My whole body is stiff. My joints have been in the same position for goddess knows how long.

I grab the water bottle and pull myself up into a sitting position, and that’s when I feel it. The pain is gone. The blood I know was pooled around me is no longer on me and my clothes have been changed. I am wearing a dress. I don’t even own a dress. I heard footsteps thudding near the entrance to the basement. I stand up and look for my slip on flats just as the door is smashed open. The door dents the wall from the impact. I averted my eyes and looked towards the floor. A pair of black polished dress shoes appeared before. I feel the penetrating gaze of my father as his eyes rake over me.

“You will not embarrass me today, you will make yourself invisible. Do you understand?”

Before I can respond, he grabs my chin in a bruising grip and pulls my face up to look at him. His sneer has me cowering and I quickly nod my head. He pushes me away with enough force to knock me over.

“Get upstairs and help the omegas. We have guests arriving shortly.”

With that, he turns on his heels and leaves me shaking in the corner of my bedroom cell.

I make my way upstairs and am nearly knocked over by the frantically confused Omegas. My father never gives out proper instructions, he just assumes we are all f*****g mind readers. I join in with everyone and try and help the best I can, which turns out i am just making it harder for everyone else. They don’t want to talk to me, they don’t even want to be in the same vicinity as me.

I look around at the place that should be my home and feel nothing. I feel numb. I make my way towards the back door but i stop as i pass the photos lining the wall. Photos of my mother laughing, photos of my father looking down at my mother with her pregnant belly. They both looked so happy they were in love and i came along and ruined it all. I look around, making sure no one notices me as I slip out the back door and run. I feel the tears in my eyes as I run. I push myself as much as I can and make my way towards the pack burial grounds. No one ever comes here and I welcome the silence. I made my way towards my mother's gravestone and sit down.

“I’m sorry mama, I am so sorry I did this to you.” I sat with my head bowed, relishing the quiet.

“I can't do this any more mama, I can't live like this. The things they are doing to me, I won't survive much longer.”

I am so lost in my thoughts, I don’t hear the person behind me but the hairs on the back of my neck stand to attention. I can feel danger practically radiating off them. I slowly turned around and had to strain my neck to look up and up and up.

Before me stands a giant of a man. He is dressed in a black suit and, from what I can tell, it looks expensive.

“I am sorry, I didn’t know anyone else was here,” I said, lowering my gaze.

“Now, what's a little thing like you doing out here all alone?”

His voice sends a shiver down my spine, his voice does something to me. It's gravelly and low and rumbles with power. I realise I have yet to answer him, but he walks closer to me and crouches down. He gently places a finger under my chin and tilts my head. I met his gaze and I let out a small gasp.

His eyes were blazing red. I clear my throat and, for some reason, my body instinctively moves closer to him. I know I should be cowering, but for some reason, I am intrigued. I lower my gaze and take in his high cheekbones, crocked nose likely from having it broken so often, but somehow it fits his face perfectly. Plump full lips and chiseled jaw. His hair, which is midnight black, hangs loosely above his shoulders. His smirk shakes me from my thoughts and I move back, creating some distance between us.

“I am just visiting my mum, no one ever comes here. It’s the only place I can really be myself and talk to her.”

He hasn’t taken his eyes off me and I know I must look like s**t. I am under weight, my white blonde hair is mattered, and my body is littered with scars. I am waiting to see the disgust or the sneer come over his face but nothing happened. “Hmmm” is all he says in response.

“You don’t look like the others around here, and you smell different.”

That's another thing that makes people hate me. I am the luna killer, but I am also the outcast, the outcast with white blonde hair and grey eyes. Everyone else here has dark hair and dark features.

“I have to go, we are having guests arrive today. I'm not sure why, but i better be there.”

I move to stand and turn away, but he grabs my wrist lightly. “Who are you?” He asks in that gravelly voice. I let out a small sigh. “I’m no one.” I said as I turned and walked away.